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Joke of the Day

"What's the best thing about duct tape? It turns ""No no no!"" Into ""Mmm mmm mmm!"""

"Do you know what makes darks better than whites? Not dropping all your fucking socks"

"Are you dylsexic? Probably."

"What is it about public bathrooms that brings out the white supremacist artist in people?"

"Gay men are so mean. They're all fucking assholes."

"My dog Minton ate my shuttlecock Bad Minton"

"Girl: ""Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"" Guy: ""Both, now get in the van."""

"still can't say ""jk"" without whispering ""rowling"""

"I got arrested for plugging my phone into my portable power pack I'm being charged with battery"

"NY Friend: ""You're in LA, you don't have to shovel anything!"" Me: ""Yeah? These heaps of broken dreams wont get off the sidewalk themselves."""