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Joke of the Day
"Coffee so hot you pretend not to notice it when you're out with your wife."
Next Joke
"When I see names carved into a tree I don't think it's cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date."
"Someone said I was racist because I misspelled pico de gallo. It's like they don't even know I misspell English words also..."
"Back up so I can take your picture. Further More. Keep going. A little bit more distance. Drop off the Earth. Perfect."
"What do you say when someone dies while getting an erection? He came and went at the same time."
"A man's wife and his lawyer are drowning, and he must make a choice; so, he chooses to go to the movies. The end. just heard this on *Mad Men* btw"
"2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing. Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more."
"A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection... Judge says, First offender?' She says, No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!'"
"Kid, if you don't know whether your Batman costume is pre or post reboot continuity, you don't deserve candy. Also, Batman doesn't cry."
"What's the best thing about being homeless... You don't have to duck and cover during an earthquake."