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Joke of the Day

"Back up so I can take your picture. Further More. Keep going. A little bit more distance. Drop off the Earth. Perfect."

"Anniversary present Wife tells her husband that she wants something that goes from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds. And on their anniversary her husband hands her a scale."

"Q: What is the tallest building in the entire world? A: The library, because it has so many stories."

"A brother and sister are fucking and the girl suddenly giggles Brother: Why are you giggling? Sister: Because! You fuck just like dad, haha! Brother: I know, mom told me"

"Why is it easy for gays to escape a fire? Because their shit is already packed."

"I lost fifty pounds in two weeks by lying!"

"What's the cheapest meat you can buy? Deer Balls...they're under a buck"

"Why is Kim Jong-un so hungry? Because hes got no Sole!"

"Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range."

"Which is better exercise, chasing a car or running away from one? Chasing a car. After running from a car you'll just be tired, but after chasing one you'll be exhausted."