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Joke of the Day

"Someone said I was racist because I misspelled pico de gallo. It's like they don't even know I misspell English words also..."

"what sign on your phone does a dog hate the most The pound sign."

"Ever since they started calling pole dancers ""artists,"" I've been writing on my resume that my talents include ""moving in artistic circles."""

"I woke up to find.. the train I was on had turned into a Pencil. I didn't try to use the toilet though because your not meant to go whilst the train's stationary."

"The residents of Mayberry took a course in computer programming. Whenthe instructor said, ""Compile,"" Gomer went to the head of the class."

"What rock group has four men that don't sing? Mount rushmore"

"Why did the geologist quit his job? His boss always took him for granite."

"Why are there whiteboards standing out in each class in school? Because they are remarkable!"

"I got all my coworkers condoms and bibles for Valentines Day because I'm praying they get laid"

"Knuckle tats: (M)(Y)(P)(A)(R)(E)(N)(T)(S) (W)(E)(R)(E)(R)(E)(L)(A)(T)(E)(D)"