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Joke of the Day

"Two translators are on a sinking ship... The first says: ""Do you know how to swim?"" The second says: ""No but I can shout for help in 19 different languages"""

"In English there's a word for fucking everything. It's 'pansexual'"

"Why do University of Alabama graduates place their diplomas on their rear-view mirrors? So they can park in handicap spots."

"So we're just gonna walk around pretending it's not weird that one of our hands is just worse at everything?"

"Are you ready, kids?! ARE YOU READY FOR THIS SUNDAY NIGHT WHEN THE CHAMPION JOHN CENA DEFENDS HIS TITLE IN THE SUPER SLAMMMMMMMMMM? DUBYA DUBYA EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

"I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's 7 years in a row now."

"May I get your name? Yes, its ""I'm The Only Person Here Waiting For Coffee."""

"[NSFW]What's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ."

"How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard of hearing? HEY! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!"

"I start, but can rarely complete my paintings and sculptures, for I am a master of the partial arts."