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Joke of the Day

"So we're just gonna walk around pretending it's not weird that one of our hands is just worse at everything?"

"[frantically pressing buttons on spaceship control panel] WHICH ONE IS FOR POPCORN"

"It's cold Son: Dad, it's so cold in here! Father: Go stand in the corner. Son: Why? Father: The corner is 90 degrees."

"Blind date I went on a blind date with this girl to a bar and as soon as I saw her I knew what I was going to drink. She ordered juice, I ordered coffee to go."

"Reddit is really a green community, Considering all the recycled content that's on here."

"What did the fly say to the second man on the moon? Buzz....."

"Can you write off a divorce as a home improvement expense"

"For yoga people He who noticed it lotused it"

"Just wrote a musical composition about pedophiles... ""Dick"" in A minor"

"Two fish in a tank Fish 1: uh, Greg? Fish 2: what Fish 1: how do we drive this thing"