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Joke of the Day

"How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard of hearing? HEY! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!"

"I was going to join the debating team in high school, but someone talked me out of it."

"So I asked my friend, ""I hear your husband applied for a position in the government"" Me:""What is he doing now?"" Friend: ""Nothing"" Me: ""But I thought he got the job!?"" Friend: ""Yes he did."""

"I just had sex with a 16-year-old girl on an elevator... It was wrong on so many levels."

"What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? Decalfinated"

"At the end of the day, it's 11:59pm."

"I've heard some great 9/11 humour, it's like two pies in the face and one in a field in Pennsylvania"

"Still don't know what I did wrong. My girlfriend was happy when I brought her home a bouquet of flowers. Her mood changed when I told her I found them by a lamp post."

"What's the only animal with a cunt on its back? A police horse."

"What happens when you throw one banana to two hungry Apes? A banana split!"