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Joke of the Day

"When the doctor told me that he had fitted a thermostat instead of a pacemaker, I was livid. It made my blood boil."

"I love to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want..."

"Resolva qualquer problema. E simples... escreva qual o problema e clique em resolver http://www.splitz.com.br/problem http://www.splitz.com.br/problem"

"Girls of Reddit what do you like in a man Lol we all know girls don't do the ""Internet""."

"Carl: So hot today. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: During WW II, Americans tried to train bats to drop bombs. Me: Fair enough."

"WIFE:Did you get the spaghetti? ME:Better. WIFE:Better? ME:Look at this crazy, wild spaghetti I found outside! *hands just full of snakes*"

"Texts from mom: Thanks to the supreme court, now it's not just women who won't marry you."

"What's more fun than nailing dead babies to a wall? Scraping them back off"

"How do punctuation marks get freaky? The comma sutra"

"NSFW: Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In the loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there."