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Joke of the Day

"A bard walks up to a bored leprechaun. How many tunes should the bard play? Fortunes."

"What do you get when you combine 99 lesbians and a politician? 100 people that don't do dick"

"What's the difference between Hillary and a piece of fruit? [deleted]"

"Father, i want a bicycle... Why you need that? You already have a wheelchair."

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because when she reaches 69, she gets a frog in her throat."

"Q: What do you call a truckload of vibrators? A: Toys for Twats."

"I just dropped my phone in the toilet and for a second I stood over it and thought, ""That's where it belongs."""

"I guess George Lucas is not a Scrabble fan. It's R1 D2."

"What do you call a fake noodle? an impasta..."

"I am going to tell my friends... That I will show up to their holloween party as Amelia Earhart...then not show up."