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Joke of the Day

"I am going to tell my friends... That I will show up to their holloween party as Amelia Earhart...then not show up."

"We are in the golden age of watching videos on your phone."

"Thumb sucking My missus asked me to help her stop sucking her thumb, so I drew a cock on it"

"How did the hipster burn his hand? He was into lightbulbs before they were cool."

"What does a sheep in denial say? Nahhhh"

"Christian Mingle: Find God's match for you. Because the Lord works in mysterious ways. Like setting up a website for his people to hook up."

"I haven't showered since last year. It's still 2014, right?"

"Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty bastards."

"Why do Autonomous cars have steering wheels? You have to hold on to something, when the shit hits the fan. ;->"

"A man drives his truck and runs over a woman. Whose fault is it? His fault. He shouldn't be driving in the kitchen."