171442

Joke of the Day

"A dick has a sad life... His neighbors are nuts, his bestfriend's a pussy, his owner beats him, and his hair is a mess."

"When I first met your mom, I fell in love with her because she had a kind face... The kind of face I want to fuck the shit out of!"

"What is a gay dinosaur called? Nsfw Megasorass"

"Subtracting the average from a distributing is demeaning."

"My grandma coined the term ""TC"" in 1988 to refer to her tuna casserole."

"Why are black guys eyes red after sex? From the pepper spray."

"You know how you keep an asshole in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!"

"Help oh god a I tied a balloon to my hand and now I'm two hours over the ocean held hostage by the wind"

"The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won't go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5. You play your game; I'll play mine."

"I didn't get that job I wanted testing invisibility potions. Apparently they don't hire blind people."