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Joke of the Day
"Want to watch a nerd have a melt down? Tell him that you just bought a android Ipad."
Next Joke
"A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff... Ba dum tss!"
"What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)"
"[ten seconds into tv interview where my identity is being protected] camera guy: don't try to disguise your own voice, let the machine do it"
"Ever heard of a game called Polish Roulette? It's like Russian Roulette except all the chambers are loaded. edit: ""chambers,"" not ""barrels"""
"[at Waldo's trial] Judge: Jury, how do you find the defendant? Jury: We the jury find the defendant by looking in the top left of the page"
"I've adjusted my insults to be more pc Instead of calling people gay, I call them straight."
"Most computer problems stem from the lack of a fatherboard. No? Ok, I'll show myself out."
"Sometimes I like to sit at the playground & wait for a concerned Mother to ask ""Which kid is mine?"" I like to reply ""I haven't decided yet."""
"What did the gay guy change his name to? Roy G. Biv"