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Joke of the Day

"Good neighbors never bother you. Great neighbors don't call the cops when you pass out naked on their lawn."

"Anywhere but here. Where does the punchline of a joke go?"

"Just want to apologize to all the unlucky women that have had to deal with my ex because I dumped him."

"What's black, white, and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw battle."

"Did you know diarrhea is inherited? It runs in your genes."

"I turn to my brother and ask Hey bro, what's the most you've jerked off in one day? ""About 3 dudes""."

"A co-worker has stopped acknowledging me in the hallway. Please tell me what I did to make you want to ignore me, so I can do it to others."

"If you broke up with your gf who works at a salad bar you can use the line ""lettuce romaine friends"" at a low cost of my student loans."

"I'd rather watch a four hour montage of old Russian men eating soup than have a toddler throw a tantrum in a Target."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Ground Up and in the Freezer."