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Joke of the Day

"Anywhere but here. Where does the punchline of a joke go?"

"Despite my rock and roll lifestyle, I'm pretty sure I'm going to die via punctured gums from a tortilla chip."

"What's a feminist's favorite subject? Trigger-nometry"

"What is the greatest sport in the history of the Olympics? Discus(s). [I think this works better verbally...]"

"I was going to make a joke about vaginas. But you'll never get it."

"""Clique"" is a French word meaning ""small group of insufferable douchebags""."

"How do you get a dead turtle to flip itself back over on its feet?... You take the letter F out of way."

"Hey, is your name Paul Revere? Because I want to give you a midnight ride!"

"I don't know what I'm more afraid of: killing myself or never doing it. Clowns definitely scare me the most, though."

"A doctor says to his patient, ""I have good new and bad news..."" Patient: ""I'd like the good news first"" Doctor : ""Well, you're going to have a disease named after you..."""