171310

Joke of the Day

"So what do you say to an invisible man? Stand Clear."

"What's the difference between your job and your wife? Nobody does your job for you when you're out"

"How can you kill an idiot with half a dollar? Throw it under a bus."

"After seeing a picture on Reddit of the garbage near the Taj Mahal, I thought to myself ""Wow can there BE a bigger shithole?"" Then I saw the comments section"

"[inventing dialup internet] What should it sound like when it's connecting? [guy in the back stands up confidently] Pterodactyls"

"A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Still unsure as to whether or not that full stop adds to humorous effect."

"How do you make a hormone? You pay her. (This was told at my pharmacy school. We laughed and then felt shame afterwards.)"

"Why did the farmer win the Nobel Prize? There was a clerical error. The award was intended to go to Malala Yousafzai for her advocacy work for education for young girls."

"What sort of shoes to ninjas wear? Sneakers."