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Joke of the Day

"It's important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching."

"What do you call it when someone eats too much wheat? Glutteny."

"ME: why am I always anxious? maybe watching TV will help- NEWS: IF THE HURRICANE DOESN'T KILL YOU, CLOWNS WILL"

"The red man lives in the red house, the blue man lives in the blue house, then who lives in the white house? The black man"

"Before the Facebook, if someone disappeared, it meant you should go looking for them. Now it means they got a life."

"What do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? Names! -Bo Burnham"

"so sick of people who aren't Beyonce"

"A Russian comes to the Ukrainian border. The Ukrainian border guard asks, ""Name?"" The Russian answers, ""Boris."" The border guard asks, ""Occupation?"" The Russian says, ""No, just visiting."""

"Keep calm and stop making different versions of that ""keep calm"" poster."

"This isn't rain, it's God slaughtering a giant cloud."