92015

Joke of the Day

"JESUS: so I'm u GOD: yes JESUS: and ur me GOD: yes JESUS: I don't get it GOD: I do JESUS: how can one of us get it & not the other GOD: whoa"

"Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them."

"On one hand, your leaving a wadded up Kotex on the bathroom floor is a great appetite suppressant. On the other hand, that's fucking gross."

"What happened when porky pig fell asleep at his construction job? The foreman fired him, saying, 'We can't have bored boars boring boards.'"

"The pope walks into a Mosque A Muslim looks up and asks ""Why the wrong faith?"""

"What's the difference between a repost and a bullet? I don't want to put a repost in my mouth"

"My buddy David lost his id so now I just call him Dave."

"I just saw this advert and the lady said allergies cause you to avoid the things you love. That explains why I never get laid."

"I have the dance moves of a dog with mittens on its paws."

"I'm an archaeologist... My life is in ruins."