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Joke of the Day

"Indian Chief: What that bottle of vodka for? Me: I got it for my girlfriend. Indian Chief: Good trade."

"me [filing a claim with the insurance company after the basement flooded] We had a pony down there too"

"Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but prune juice and viagra? He couldn't tell if he was coming or going."

"Why does a pencil shave? To look sharp"

"My kid just called Child Protective Services because he still has an iPhone 5S."

"I'm going to put my grandmother on speed dial. I'll call it Instagram."

"McDonald's Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug."

"African American Letters. They are all blackmail."

"What's Ronald Reagan's favorite vegetable? James Brady"

"There was an awful fight at the seafood restaurant. Four fish got battered!"