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Joke of the Day

"How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Definitely not 9, my basement is still dark"

"What do you get when you mix olive oil, lemon juice, rosemary, thyme, salt, pepper and marijuana? Cheech Marinade!"

"IN CASE OF FIRE BREAK GLASS *breaks glass* *a glazed honey ham pops out* ""Nice nice"""

"What do you call it when a black person has diarrhea? Nigeria"

"When I'm Sad.. I sing, then realize my voice is worse than my problems."

"7: Dad what does this word mean Me: Bring me a dictionary *Smack up side the head Me: Now go google that shit"

"Three of five fingers were willing to cooperate but the thumb and forefinger were opposed!"

"Internet went down last night My neighbour added a password"

"So then the otaku says... That's no body pillow. That's my wife!"

"""I'm done with this shit."" He thought as he closed Reddit, locked his phone and stood up."