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Joke of the Day

"ENTER PASSWORD password YOUR PASSWORD IS TOO LITERAL PLEASE TRY AGAIN again ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW"

"Diagnosing myself on WebMD after smoking a joint is a terrible idea, i always end up with HIV and I probably just have gas (and now anxiety)"

"What did one snowman say to the other? ""Can you smell carrots?"""

"Q: What's musical and handy in a supermarket? A: A Chopin Liszt."

"What drives the hype train? The hyper drive."

"Don't you just hate it when you BP red wine on a white tablecloth? [New verb. Make it so.]"

"Got kicked off the cruise ship after three day of constantly saying ""poop deck"" & snickering."

"What's the first thing a 16 yr old, from Arkansas, says after sex? Get off me Pa you're crushing my Copenhagen!"

"Women are like helicopters... You know they work and you trust them, but if you make any effort to understand them whatsoever you'd be too terrified to go near them."

"Why doesn't the Kentucky Fried Chicken use toilet paper? It's finger licking good."