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Joke of the Day

"A Clinton is running for POTUS, a Jurassic Park movie dominated the summer box office, and they found a knife on OJ's property. It's 1994."

"The Rabbit and the Seagull On a long summer day, a fat man was walking down Michigan Avenue. A black guy ran up to him and said, ""........"

"""Any minute now. Any minute..."" -Lincoln Logs, waiting for a phone call from Hollywood"

"Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving? A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster."

"I shouldn't have said that. - Me. Whenever I talk."

"""United Airlines? More like DIVIDED Airlines"" he said as thunderous applause erupted in the terminal, wild cheers & all the old folks crying"

"Thank you Facebook, I can now farm without going outside, cook without being in my kitchen, feed fish I don't have & waste an entire day without having a life."

"WAITER: Your honor, when I said ""enjoy your meal"" he said ""you too"" ME: it was a mistake JUDGE: he gets half your meal W: thanks J: you too"

"""My lips are sealed."" -Virgins."

"What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!"