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Joke of the Day
"If you make a cow angry how will she get even? She'll cream you!"
Next Joke
"Saw this advert in a window... It said ""television for sale,$1,volume stuck on full"".I thought,""I can't turn that down"""
"Why did Mr. Pibb go see Dr. Pepper at Rehab? Because he was addicted to Coke."
"Me: Sorry, my son spilled the water Waiter: No problem, I'll get you a new one Me: [grabbing his arm] Make sure this one likes sports"
"[INT. STARBUCKS - DAY] Me: Theres a large rat in the bathroom Barista: ? Me: A large rat Barista: ? Me: THERES A VENTI RAT IN THE BATHROOM"
"The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone."
"Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet? They never want to log off."
"Religion is like masturbation. It's okay to practice it at home in private, but when people start gathering to do it together shit goes downhill."
"I used to forget time with you. Now, I'll just forget you with time."
"Plenty of great people were single just like you are. For instance: Voldemort. Wait, bad example. You're way less talented than Voldemort."