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Joke of the Day

"Me: Sorry, my son spilled the water Waiter: No problem, I'll get you a new one Me: [grabbing his arm] Make sure this one likes sports"

"A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: ""Fuck off, you won't bring it back."""

"A woman who's husband died is called a widow, what do you call a husband who's wife died? Lucky"

"There are a lot of good times... But 6:30 is hands down the best time."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, while the other is a little lighter."

"Eastern Pun So I'm in the habit of watching international TV channels when I'm at home. I've noticed that Dubai's networks don't ever broadcast The Flintstones, but Abu Dhabi do!"

"Whats the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in your ass."

"Cells multiply by dividing."

"Did you go to the cellphone's wedding? No but I heard that the reception was great."

"I got my mind on my monkey and my monkey on my back."