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Joke of the Day

"So I found out today I have Alzheimer's..."

"What is the difference between a man and a cat? One eats a lot, is lazy and doesnt care who brings the food. The other is a pet."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma One has claws at the end of its paws, the other's a pause at the end of its clause."

"Have you ever heard of the lady who was accused of being the infamous Quilted Killer? She's innocent until proven quilty."

"I know a trick to make my dick 2 meters long... ... I fold it in half."

"A Mormon says to his Motel receptionist, 'The porn in my room better be disabled!' The receptionist replies 'No it's just regular porn you sick bastard'."

"Yes,I put my kid on a leash. I'm not scared of her being abducted. I just REALLY wanted a puppy instead."

"It's afro-carribean day at work tomorrow. I'm dreading it."

"Why did the brake pedal see a therapist? Because it was depressed."

"Sherbet is great if someone asks you for ice cream and you hate them."