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Joke of the Day

"Yes,I put my kid on a leash. I'm not scared of her being abducted. I just REALLY wanted a puppy instead."

"Why was the policeman sent to talk to a bunch of crows? Because someone said there was a ""murder""."

"Dead memes are like dead babies They never get old."

"There are two types of people in the world... 1. People who masturbate 2. Fucking Liars"

"POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: describe the suspect ""He was holding a pencil, wishing he was a real artist"" {pencil stops moving} ""And he was crying"""

"Probably the hardest part about being a dj is when you get into a fight and you gotta hold your headphones up to your ear with one shoulder."

"Damn, baby got back. And front. And sides. Baby three-dimensional. This is a real baby."

"Syria has appealed for international assistance today, after a boatload of 500 Greeks arrived seeking a better life."

"Man Desperately Clicks Away From Article He Didn't Realize Was A Video"

"Me: I don't like online shopping. I'm old school. I need to touch it, smell it, taste it. Her: I still need you to leave our lingerie store."