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Joke of the Day

"My friend left his job at a nut factory... Cause they paid him peanuts..."

"Relationship Status: I'm a Rubik's Cube. Now try and figure me out."

"How do you spot a vegan at a party? Don't worry, they'll let you know."

"I was writing a paper on my grandfather... But had to stop because he was moving so much."

"Why did the Greeks want Helen back so bad? Are you kidding? She was the most beautiful woman in the world! Can you imagine what her sons would of looked like?"

"I suddenly met a man who had a problem with premature ejaculation. He just came out of nowhere."

"What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have Bird Flu, you need tweetment. If you have Swine Flu, you need oink-ment."

"If these walls could talk I bet it would be gibberish cause these walls are plastered."

"Didn't know true sadness until I accidentally pressed a button on my iPhone camera and saw my face from 2 inches away."

"Reasons why it's bad that Justin Bieber is retiring: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5."