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Joke of the Day
"Men are like bike helmets. They are handy in an emergency but otherwise they just look silly."
Next Joke
"Sorry, the dog stood on my keyboard and liked that Instagram photo of you from 47 weeks ago."
"How is Hillary Clinton and a high class prostitute different? Rich people pay the prostitute to fuck them, they pay Hillary Clinton to fuck everyone else."
"I can tell y'all this; it was no black man that came up with the name 'tea-bagging' for that shit. It'd have been something like 'ball-dunk'"
"What's the difference between USB and USA? One connects to all your devices and access your data, one connects to all your devices and access your data."
"Who is the musician's best friend? The drummer!"
"Why do you keep going back to that fishing website? I can't help it I'm hooked."
"*picks up bug, puts it outside* There ya go. *later, bug smashes thru door carrying gun* You should have killed me when you had the chance"
"How does an idiot call for his dog? He puts two fingers in his mouth and then shouts Rover."
"When I was a kid my English teacher looked my way and said, ""name two pronouns."" I said, "" who, me?"""