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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the accountant who daydreams about being an actuary? He craved more risk."

"A man comes home to his wife with a big bunch of flowers... ""I suppose I'll have to keep my legs open for the next few days!"" The wife says. The husband replies, ""Why? Don't you have any vases?"""

"Why does Harrison Ford run from Wesley Snipes? Because he's the Blade Runner."

"I love salad! Just wish it had the taste & texture of pizza."

"Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar ? He wanted sweet and sour pork !"

"Eating a Clock I tried eating a clock once, I wouldn't do it again. It was very time consuming."

"Is your name WiFi, because I'm feeling the connection"

"Atilla the Hun, Adolf Hitler and a lawyer are stranded with you on a island ... - and you have a gun with only 2 bullets, who do you shoot? -- The lawyer twice."

"I feel like every time a GOP candidate drops out, Oompa Loompas should appear & sing a song to teach us about the perils of gluttony & greed"

"Hey guys, we heard you guys were upset about losing a lot of subscribers on your YouTube channel. Nah, it's fine bros."