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Joke of the Day

"What do marriage and hurricanes have in common? They both start with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your fucking house! thanks @Canadianmomma"

"ISIS, meet ebola. Ebola, meet ISIS. Problem solved."

"I finally opened the condom in my wallet and it had a beard."

"Ask me if I'm a fire truck."

"""You're beautiful. No, you're beautiful! No, No, you're Beautiful. No No No. You're beautiful."" -Girls on Facebook Profile Pictures"

"If your nervous tick is pointing to the sky then might i suggest not going to auctions anymore."

"Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes."

"Dropping the bass So my friend tells me she respects people who play the bass. I reply with the following: ""the only bass I like is the base that drops."" Tell me Reddit, tell me I'm hilarious."

"What's the difference between your wife and your job? Job still sucks after 5 years."

"Don't invest in SeaWorld It's really starting to tank"