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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between your wife and your job? Job still sucks after 5 years."

"Lemme get this straight: you take my tonsils, I get free ice cream [dr] yup what other parts of me will you take in exchange for ice cream"

"Shopkeeper: Stop! you can't smoke here. Me: But I bought the it from your shop. Shopkeeper: We also sell condoms but that doesn't mean.. but you don't use them here!"

"Not only is it daylight savings time today, but also Int'l Women's Day. Because apparently a full 24 hours to celebrate women would have been just a bit much."

"What do you get when you mix gangsta rap and relational aesthetics? Albums released through California penal records."

"You love him. Your parents approve him. He buys you flowers and chocolate. He wrote you a poem that rhymes ""wood"" with ""food."""

"What's the difference between Obama and god? God doesn't think he's Obama."

"Whenever I see a big guy beating up a little guy I ALWAYS jump in to help cause there is NO WAY the little guy can take us both."

"I can't believe people say people who don't believe in climate change don't care about the environment. Just look how well they recycle their arguments!"

"Hey, I feel like almost everyone here has forgotten something... The Game."