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Joke of the Day
"Skin divers How many skin divers does it take to circumcise a blue whale Four"
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"I've had 6 cups of coffee and am about to shave my pet cactus"
"Why is it easier to shit on fat people? More surface area"
"I have no idea why these women called me a massaging gymnast All I said was that women belong in the kitchen."
"Where does the Easter Bunny lay his eggs?! In the grass.. So WHAT DO WE SMOKE TO CELEBRATE?! [all the children] Grass?? Yessssss."
"It's impossible to think about uptown funk without getting it stuck in your head... Don't believe me? Just watch!"
"What's the difference between the Circus and the Playboy Mansion? The Circus features a cunning array of stunts."
"I was in a job interview. ""What is your biggest strength?"" ""I am always on time."" ""And your biggest weakness?"" ""I get annoyed when my dealer is late."""
"Rick Astley will let you borrow any of his George Clooney movies... But he's never gonna give you Up In the Air."
"I'm not crazy; I've just been in a bad mood for the last ten years."