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Joke of the Day

"I'm not crazy; I've just been in a bad mood for the last ten years."

"What do you call a cow masturbating? Beef stoken-off"

"Girl, if you got any hotter you'd be so earth-shatteringly hot the ground would split & we'd burn to death in molten lava. That would suck."

"2 atoms walk into a bar One atom says to the other, ""Oh no, I've lost an electron!"" The other asks ""Are you sure?"" To which the atom replies, ""I'm positive!"""

"[Ad shows dude getting out of bed before noon on the weekend] *professional stuntman do not attempt*"

"What did one banana say to another banana? I find you a-peeling"

"I just don't understand pedophiles, kids are SO annoying."

"Person: Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Me: I understand. *I spend the rest of my life biting the hands of everyone who hasn't fed me*"

"Fun Fact: For the cost of a dozen red roses, you could also get a dozen beers and a dozen wings at happy hour. Prob even pay for parking too"

"and on the 7th day while God was resting Satan created the Kardashian family."