170479

Joke of the Day

"the sequel to ""Up"" should be called ""Up 2: No Good"" who do I tell this to"

"What characteristics do chemists look for in people when dating? Asses and faces"

"""Mrs. Doubtfire"" is my favorite movie about a messy custody battle that gives way to horribly illegal and creepy transgendered stalking."

"There's no sticker warning me not to eat this box of nails so I guess I'll just go for it."

"Have you heard the one about the Imaginary man? You haven't? Me neither!"

"I broke up with a Japanese girl last week... It sucked, because I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message."

"I'm still upset they never let me bunt in tball."

"What's the difference between Windows 95 and a virus? A virus does something."

"I was getting drunk with this cute girl and booze was going everywhere. Then suddenly I slipped in cider."

"The other day I got detained by the TSA.... Apparently they don't like it if you say ""Note 7,"" even if it is just a joke."