9003

Joke of the Day

"There's no sticker warning me not to eat this box of nails so I guess I'll just go for it."

"I had a wet dream about you last night I dreamed that you got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing."

"Chuck Norris *hates* Raymond."

"I bought a book about addiction I've read it 50 times and it still hasn't helped."

"This year I'm releasing a Christmas record called Duvet Know it's Christmas? It's a cover version."

"*leans into microphone* My question is for Salt-N-Pepa. ""Hi"" ""Hey"" Hi.""Push It"" is about takin a dump, right? ""No"" ""Nope"" *hands friend $5*"

"So my girlfriend told me her dog ate some tampons... I told her to call the vet, maybe they can pull some strings."

"""you create beauty with your soul and personality! and also with not being fat and with using this make up."" - women's magazines"

"Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? There was debrie everywhere!"

"What did one termite say to another in a burning building? ""Barbecue tonight!"""