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Joke of the Day

"Kanye joins One Direction as a replacement for Zayn... He kicks everyone out of the band and says: ""If there's only one direction, it's West."""

"*Throws caution to the wind* *gets covered in caution*"

"Do you, Karen, take David the Optometrist to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse? Better... or worse? Better... or worse?"

"Man comes to psychologist's office He kicks the door open, enters, leans above the desk, and staring psychologist in the eyes says: ""Now, tell me, bald ugly little man, why I don't have any friends?"""

"Donald Trump is about to watch an episode of his current favorite TV show... Orange is the New Black"

"What is the difference between a Mercedes and a Lexus? Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Lexus..."

"Playing Guess Who these days is hard ""Is your person white?"" ""Excuse me?"" ""Is your person white?"" ""I don't see skin color I just see people"""

"When I lose my glasses I become a horrible plumber because I can't see shit."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Again with the victim blaming, jerk? Don't tell us to change the lightbulb, tell the lightbulb to not need changing."

"Why dont blind people skydive? because it scares the shit out of their dogs."