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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump is about to watch an episode of his current favorite TV show... Orange is the New Black"

"How do you fix a broken gorilla? With a monkey wrench."

"They say talk is cheap but my last phone call cost me $2.99 per minute, billed directly to my credit card."

"That rose tattoo on your ass was SO hot when you were 19. Now it looks like red cabbage"

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Silent"

"Starting a Psychofit class. Basically, I sneak up on people showering and chase em with a knife til they achieve their desired body weight."

"I noticed that the local convent has no security around the building, so I helped myself. No fence. Nun taken."

"Statistically... 9/10 people enjoy gang rape"

"What do you call a small dog that can store food? Pupperware"

"Her: Are you getting off early today? Me: THAT HAPPENED ONE TIME!"