170413

Joke of the Day

"Why is a viola solo like a bomb? By the time you hear it, it's too late to do anything about it. A long list of viola jokes: http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/viola.html"

"What's the resemblence between politics and sex? It can be in whatever position they choose, but regardless there's still just gonna be a dick going in there, and you're still getting fucked."

"We all know you love your boyfriend, but we'd all appreciate it if you'd SHUT THE FUCK UP"

"Team work is important, it helps to put the blame on someone else."

"Girls: I hangout with guys, theres less drama. Me: I hangout by myself. Theres no drama & I dont have to wear pants."

"I needed a password 8 characters long .. .. so I used Snow White and the Seven Dwarves"

"Turns out a At Home DNA Test is not a good baby shower gift."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? because the 'p' is silent."

"My sister said to me: Where do Tie Fighters sit in church? In the *pew*."

"What do you do if a blonde person throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back."