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Joke of the Day

"Hanukkah Matata to all Jewish Redditors! It means no worries! Except for the worries you have about disappointing your mother."

"What's the shortest possible sentence in Canadian English? Sorry, eh."

"In college a dirty $20 bill tried to have sex with me. I didn't have a condom so I declined because you never want to get Financial AIDS."

"I want to give a shout out to liver thanks buddy for keeping all those bad influences out of my life"

"How do you get a bass player off of your porch? You pay for your pizza."

"People want to know if the Vice President will be running in 2016 He might, but for now he's just Biden his time."

"Not everyone that comes into your life needs to stay there."

"Do you come from heaven? Did it hurt when you landed on your face?"

"All the people upset over same sex marriage didn't seem to mind when Paula Abdul was openly dating a cartoon cat in the late 80s."

"I ate my dog because it ate my homework. Just kidding, I ate it because I'm Asian."