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Joke of the Day
"I like my women like I like my Star Wars. Ruined by George Lucas."
Next Joke
"[Me flirting with a twenty something] Him: When last did you get lit? Me: This morning. It was really sunny so I was well illuminated."
"""Give it to me!"" she yelled ""I'm so fucking wet! Give it to me now!"" ... She could scream all she wanted. I was keeping the umbrella."
"What monster plays the most April Fool's jokes? Prankenstein!"
"An Elephant walks into a bar bartender asks why long nose. Elephant: Mind your own fucking business."
"Sikh turban dude"
"My fiance, feeling a bit under the weather, just blurted out this knee-slapper at 3AM... Why does Bill Nye get sleepy after writing calligraphy? Because of the Nye Quill."
"Che Guevara was such a revolutionary. He revolutionized the t-shirt sales."
"What do Yoko Ono and African children have in common? They both survive on dead beatles (beetles)."
"What's the strongest letter in the alphabet? ***P*** Even Superman can't hold it."