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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a shitty band that only plays in the winter? Coldplay."
Next Joke
"Last night, a guy tried to stab me with a butter knife He said i was toast."
"*on a 1st date* Her:..and I have 3 cats Me: Swipe left H: Did you say ""swipe left""?! M: H: M: *panicked whisper* swipeleftswipeleftswipeleft"
"I slept like a log last night. A badger pissed on me."
"""Ameh."" ~ Atheists at the end of a prayer"
"A bunch of Italians formed a Bob Marley tribute band. They're called the Reggae-Tony's"
"My oldest played with BPA free toys that I sterilized constantly. My youngest is playing with a metal coat hanger and a AA battery."
"A woman visits an astrologer Astrologer: Would you like me to tell you your husband's future? Woman: No you tell me his past, I'll decide his future."
"What one noun, verb, and US President sums up a scientist's hopes and fears? Grant."
"We've heard that ignorance of maths is growing geometrically, whatever that means."