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Joke of the Day

"There's three types of people in this world... ...those who are good at math, and those who aren't."

"I wasted 400 years of my life trying to figure out if I was a vampire."

"After grandpa's unfortunate steamroller incident last year, man crush Monday is always a difficult time for me and my family."

"My friend asked me what I thought about Internet message boards. I said ""I'm all forum"""

"Europe is in turmoil, but at least I've got some steady income despite the migrant crisis I own a florist around the corner from the French embassy"

"Kraft have just opened up a new factory in Jerusalem... They've called it 'Cheeses of Nazareth'."

"Why is a great tune like great unprotected sex? The malady lingers on long after it's over ..."

"Walmart has strategically placed the cold sore meds in the mistletoe aisle."

"Hey, how many people do you think are dead in that cemetary Dad: ""Hey, how many people do you think are dead in that cemetary Me: ""It's gotta be a couple thousand, pop."" Dad: ""All of them."""

"*eats banana seductively Banana: I have a boyfriend"