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Joke of the Day

"Hey, how many people do you think are dead in that cemetary Dad: ""Hey, how many people do you think are dead in that cemetary Me: ""It's gotta be a couple thousand, pop."" Dad: ""All of them."""

"Someone who blocked me on Twitter just added me on Instagram. If you can't love me at my bad jokes, you don't deserve me at my cat photos."

"I always ask Subway workers if THEY want double meat, then wink. Then I get kicked out."

"Why are frogs always so happy? Because they eat whatever bugs them."

"This Halloween on the East Coast I heard a lot of people are going to be the Scorpions this Halloween. Because we're gonna get rocked like a hurricane."

"Why was the snowman smiling? He saw the snowblower coming."

"What's the difference between feminists and Nazis? The Nazis had a purpose"

"hey girl , you french? coz ***madamn***"

"Me: Describe your love for me in one word. Him: My what?"

"What does relative humidity mean to a redneck? The sweat that forms on your nuts when you're banging your sister."