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Joke of the Day

"[at a bar] CUTE GIRL: *grabs my arm* hey there ME: *mouth full of food* did you know a lobster on a kabob is called a kablobster"

"Amazon Prime Day"

"Narcissist? Let's just calm down with the big words and keep this conversation about me."

"Ibuprofen is my favorite headache medicine that also sounds like a reggae professor."

"IF attacked by Clowns ... Go for the Juggler!"

"What do you call a bad riddle? Voldemort"

"What do you call the richest person in the soup industry? A boullionaire"

"What do 9 out of 10 people consider fun? A gang rape."

"What was the last pizza order made to the World Trade Center? Two large plains"

"A pirate walks into a bar... With his ship's steering wheel on his dick. The bartender asks, ""Whats with the wheel on your john?"" the pirate replied, ""Arrg it's driving me nuts!"""