170031

Joke of the Day

"on star trek every time they beam down to a new planet they get their tricorders out to find somewhere to go on yelp"

"When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger and write WASH ME on her face..."

"Teacher: Name five things that contain milk. Pupil: Butter cheese ice cream ... and two cows!"

"I'm writing a book called 'Stop Overreacting.' But maybe I'm overreacting."

"""You're going to leave me for someone younger,"" my wife explained. ""That's not right,"" I assured her. ""They could be older too."""

"""Is this a card?"" -the vague street magician"

"My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate."

"What does a white man never want to call a black man that starts with ""N"" and ends with ""R""? ""Neighbor"" ~ thanks bugz"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in your ass"

"A friend of mine told me he gets terrible stage fright... ...I thought he was taking the piss but he really wasn't."