124519

Joke of the Day

"When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger and write WASH ME on her face..."

"A prince asked a beautiful princess to marry him.. And she said no. The prince lived happily ever after."

"Having identical twins is great because if you misplace one you have a second copy."

"When I was a kid, I used to dream about swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Now I realize that it was just a fanta-sea."

"I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement. -Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90's TV"

"I have the Anne Hathaway ""It came true!"" reaction whenever the guy at Subway hands me my sandwich."

"Knock-knock. (""Who's there?"") Control freak. Now say ""Control freak who?"""

"Life is an internet. 30 days after you met she wants you to register and begins taking taxes every month."

"what does Dr Watson says to his flatmate when he's constipated? no shit, Sherlock"

"btw, my linkedin endorsements for ""Dreamweaver"" are for me singing the song Dreamweaver and not for using that software"