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Joke of the Day

"""You're going to leave me for someone younger,"" my wife explained. ""That's not right,"" I assured her. ""They could be older too."""

"Michael J. Fox He's really just trying to master The Force."

"I thought I had ADD because I have a hard time concentrating when I read books. But it turns out I'm just lazy and not very smart. Phew!"

"Can February march? No, but April may."

"My mom likes to call from baseball games just to say she can't hear me 25 times."

"Why don't blacks like Tylenol? They have to pick cotton to get to them."

"What's the difference between one yard and two yards? A fence."

"How does Bob Marley like his donuts? Preferably not dead from cancer."

"If you think you're frustrated, Try teaching an Italian sign language."

"Me: I got my first TOTD! It's exciting! Him: What's that? M: um, well, it's an imaginary trophy... H: well then I'm imaginary proud of you."