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Joke of the Day
"Why do people with no arms have difficulty remembering? Because they can't put their finger on it."
Next Joke
"When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!"
"Which 2 Birthdays go by the quickest? the twenty second ones and the thirty second ones"
"My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot It got so bad, eventually we had to take his bike away"
"As a white person, I have a primal fear of getting lost in the snow."
"What is the worst kind of wood to have in your home around your kids? Naughty pine"
"Just got some good news from my financial planner ...she told me I'd only have to keep working 3 years after I die to afford my retirement."
"[hamster construction site] ""Colin, you seen Dave?"" I left him manning the concrete mixer ""Oh no"" [cut to Dave having the time of his life]"
"What's the difference between iron-man and iron woman? one is a superhero and the other is a command."
"Hostess: enjoy these complimentary after dinner mints Mints: you have beautiful eyes Me: [blushing] wow they're very complimentary"