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Joke of the Day

"I've come to the conclusion that my sex life sucks. I was masturbating the other day, and my hand fell asleep."

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He needed a pencil to work it out."

"What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party ? No one moved. They couldn't stir without her."

"If sober me won't do it...drunk me will."

"Jesus: Those were the times when I carried you son Me: And when the vending machine ate my dollar? Jesus: That time you bought me a Snickers"

"A recent report shows that Gangs are now using dogs instead of knives, I tried this. My toast was very hairy"

"What are ants called when they run away very fast to get married? Ant-elopers."

"What does dog poo and women have in common ? The older they get the easier they are to pick up."

"Flung my bra across the room and it sailed right into the drawer, if any of you are looking to start a basketball team that uses bras."

"Apple scraps a new product... I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's-oriented IPod after realizing that ""ITouch Kids"" is not a good product name."