43215

Joke of the Day

"A baby seal walks into a club."

"What's a grammar teacher's favorite dessert? SYNONYM ROLLS!"

"[press session regarding increase in shark bites] Reporter: Are there more attacks in one area? Scientist: [lips against mic] In the water"

"I heard there was a paedophile roaming my neighbourhood. I don't know who it could be, nearly all of my neighbours are sexy little kids..."

"""Sleep is for the dead"". Yeah cos you look so alive when you're yawning. #stupidsayings"

"A joke I thought of back in the 5th grade. Why did the robber go !POP!... Because he was busted. EDIT: a little corney, but hey who gives a flying fuckaroo."

"Waiter there is a frog in my soup ! Don't worry sir there isn't enough there to drown him !"

"My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad I had to take his bike away."

"What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl? I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!"

"I told the bank teller that I was changing banks & wanted to open an account ""Great. What's the name of your former bank?"" I said, ""Piggy"""