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Joke of the Day

"My expertly timed eclipse joke will put all the others in the shade."

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"What gets bigger every time I see my wife. My wife."
"Last night I reached for my liquid viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of tippex.. ...I woke this morning with a huge correction."
"Mommy mommy, in school they all call me liar! Aww my Timmy, you're not in school yet."
"I'm not saying she faked her orgasm, all I'm saying is my p enis wasn't even in."
"I tried to make this post all about why Finland DOES actually exist... ...but I couldn't Finnish."
"Loneliness can make you do some strange people."
"What's the name of a musical collaboration between Shia LaBeouf and a Judge? A just duet."
"How Do You Make A Blind Man Angry? Give him a basketball and ask him what it says."
"You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly."